4 votes

Top 10 reasons Kim Jong-un would want to bomb Austin, Texas

Personally, I think ol' Kim just has outdated info. Austin had an Air Force Base that used to be a front-line Strategic Air Command (SAC) base during the Cold War. Then it transferred to the Tactical Air Command (TAC) and became a major base for the Air Force's RF-4C reconnaissance fighter fleet. It closed in 1993. If that is not the case, then maybe these are the top 10 reasons from the Austin American-Statesman newspaper:

10. Just trying to put Longhorn basketball team out of its misery.

9. Still angry about not getting in to see Prince at SXSW.

8. Finally got fed up with leaving his reusable bags at home. (Austin banned plastic grocery bags this month & we have to bring our own to the store)

7. Stood in line at Franklin’s for two hours. No more brisket. (Popular BBQ place that is always crowded with a long wait)

6. Angry at Rick Perry for also trying to serve lifetime term as Beloved Leader.

5. Hipster Apocalypse!

4. Heard that Sixth Street was always a good place to get bombed.

3. Too chicken to bomb Williamson County. Will aim for Travis County instead.

2. Thinks Austin was better back in stone ages. (Austinites are always complaining about how cool, hip and funky the city used to be and how it sucks now.-Austin is now a Smart Growth Agenda 21 ICLEI city)

1. One word: Traffic. (Thanks to NAFTA and the influx of people from other states moving here)

Pictures: http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/aust...

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The only good reason to want to bomb Austin, TX:

Alex Jones

"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom — go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, an

During the first battle of the War Against Northern

Aggression (Civil War), people took picnic lunches to watch the battle. That practice ended quickly.

Will you still be laughing when you are burying members of your family because China and Russia decide to join in this idiocy.

War is not to be taken lightly. Ask anyone who has lost a friend in one.

Here is what the city is telling us:

"Even if the intention was serious, the threat analysis consensus is that North Korea is nowhere near having a working nuclear missile system, never mind one that could reach Texas. There have been two major underground explosions that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has claimed are successful nuclear weapons tests, and there is speculation that they are working on a hydrogen bomb. However, the nation lacks the delivery systems. While the nation is banned by international sanctions from working on ballistic weaponry since the second underground test, they have tested missiles with a 300 mile range in the South China Sea. However, they lack intercontinental technology (either the missiles, or the payload small enough to fit on one) and with their long-time sponsor China increasingly disinterested in propping up their unstable proxy, it seems unlikely that the threats will mean missiles over Barton Springs any time soon. "

The whole city is making it into a joke.

Outside of a Mexican Restaurant in Austin

maybe they just want to shut

maybe they just want to shut Alex Jones up.