Top 10 reasons Kim Jong-un would want to bomb Austin, TexasSubmitted by ralph hornsby on Fri, 03/29/2013 - 19:55
Personally, I think ol' Kim just has outdated info. Austin had an Air Force Base that used to be a front-line Strategic Air Command (SAC) base during the Cold War. Then it transferred to the Tactical Air Command (TAC) and became a major base for the Air Force's RF-4C reconnaissance fighter fleet. It closed in 1993. If that is not the case, then maybe these are the top 10 reasons from the Austin American-Statesman newspaper:
10. Just trying to put Longhorn basketball team out of its misery.
9. Still angry about not getting in to see Prince at SXSW.
8. Finally got fed up with leaving his reusable bags at home. (Austin banned plastic grocery bags this month & we have to bring our own to the store)
7. Stood in line at Franklin’s for two hours. No more brisket. (Popular BBQ place that is always crowded with a long wait)
6. Angry at Rick Perry for also trying to serve lifetime term as Beloved Leader.
5. Hipster Apocalypse!
4. Heard that Sixth Street was always a good place to get bombed.
3. Too chicken to bomb Williamson County. Will aim for Travis County instead.
2. Thinks Austin was better back in stone ages. (Austinites are always complaining about how cool, hip and funky the city used to be and how it sucks now.-Austin is now a Smart Growth Agenda 21 ICLEI city)
1. One word: Traffic. (Thanks to NAFTA and the influx of people from other states moving here)